Who will ever know how sad am I? Who will ever care if I have got bed bugs sucking my blood everynight. Who will ever know the simplest thing I ever wanted?

Why am I so competitive? Why do I always hurt myself this way. Why do I always compare myself to the others? Why do you have to be so smart?! You played cards the whole night long, I studied, even If I'm tired, I'm not feeling well I still pull myself up to study, but why, why do you always scored better than me? Because you have the language? Or because you're just a jerk!! I don't hate you, I'm just jealous, I can choose not to but you're always making me hating myself even more. I'm not blaming you but myself but understanding you too well. I'm the suckiest person ever to anyone of you. What a lousy person am I?! HAHAHAHA have I suffered from depression? I doubt so.

I ruined my papers. I cried, silently while I was falling asleep. I studied but it turned to be that way... Why? I work hard, I want to achieve my goals. I still hold on to my hope and faith. I just want to be who I want to be. What had happened to me now? I'm stressing myself... I'm changing to someone I don't even recognise. Is there anyone that I can share my thoughts with? I'm not finding someone to rely on but I just need them to borrow me their ears.
But I'm not falling. Never, no matter how tired it is. I won't let go. I'll fly high. As high as the sky!